Family Travel - by mr. o

April 02, 2019

Family Travel - by mr. o

"That’s modern day travel - with kids. It’s always worth it but seldom pretty." Join Mr. O on his travels, with this series of (somewhat) autobiographical (often) witty travel notes... 
 
Whitewater rafting in West Virginia, lazy beach days on a remote Greek island, volunteering at a Sri Lankan elephant orphanage, kite surfing in Cape Verde, stay-cations in your backyard with a couple hot dogs on the barbecue and a hose to cool you down because it’s so goddamn hot. Like beauty - a vacation is in the eye (and mind) of the beholder.

Our vacations the last few years always include checking-in a couple of car seats, a stroller (or two), and having to compute complex algorithms in order to ensure that we don’t have to take out another mortgage for overweight/excess baggage while boarding the puddle jumpers to take us to the island.

First world problems you may say? Fair enough. But next time you happen to be in an airport or ferry terminal or train station or even a grocery store for that matter, look around for a family with multiple young children (5 yrs and under, typically) and study the parents closely. Typically it’s the dad that shows the first signs of absolute defeat.

Tell tale signs usually include a sociopathic glare in his eyes, a bumbling toddler making a bee-line for the main concourse just as the family is next up at check-in, and utter silence between husband and beloved wife. You need to appreciate just how bad the situation is: these people are so cognisant and ashamed of the mini-rage they’re experiencing in public that they would rather keep their lips completely zipped and simply communicate with piercing eye signals and obtuse facial expressions that are usually accompanied by a couple of choice prehistoric grunts. All this to avoid losing it completely in front of a hoard of strangers who will keep staring at you until you get the bloody boarding passes and can finally head for your gate, for the next instalment of security-check insanity.

That’s modern day travel - with kids. It’s always worth it but seldom pretty. 

I’ll bet when Moses led his exodus he didn’t feel such stress. Responsibility, sure - he had it by the buckets. But stress? Us young parents got Moses beat hands down. 

Oh. It’s time to board? Here we go. Wishing you all the luck. Godspeed dear travellers.




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